Can I keep 'im?
by 9We're All Mad Here6
Summary: Sledgehammer is transported into my house. my mission: Get him back into the game without getting killed. Rated for violence (super mild) and druge reference, only once though. COMPLETE! SEQUEL COMING SOON!
1. The blessing um nightmare begins

Hello one and all! This is the result of eating too much sugar. I don't own PS2, Clock Tower 3, or anything related to that

* * *

Psycho's POV: 

The moment I'd been waiting for had finally arrived! I opened the bag I was carrying with me and pulled out a brand new (actually it was slightly used) PS2 along with a copy of Clock Tower 3! I had wanted this game so badly! Only problems are: a)I'm four years too young to play it, and b) I didn't own a PS2 'til now. I suppose you're wandering who I am right now, and if not, you can go kill yourself. The name's Crazy-Psycho-Chic, but you can call me Psycho!

I had recently bought all this crap when I won 100 off one of those scratch card games, not too shabby. Plus, I had a buncha cash stuffed somewhere. I somehow managed to hook it up without killing myself by falling and being impaled by the gamecube. I flipped the switch and started playing. I always ignore the openeing scene and stuff, so I took this oppurtunity to take a nap! The opening cinema was over in a few minutes, and I played throughout the first level.

After awhile I got bored with exploring the lodge. I prayed silently to God that I would uncover a new area or something, and my wishes were granted! Thank you Holy Spirit in Heaven! I watched a neat little cutscene involving bombs and somehow found Alyssa's attempts to dodge them hilarious. Afterwards I walked around and found my first ghost (who reminded me slightly of Gollum).

"_My ring...give me back...my ring..."_

"Dude, even if I had your ring, I probably wouldn't give it to you," I muttered to the ghost whom I dubbed: Smeagol da 2nd! I entered the phone boothy thingy where a disgusting trail of blood came out and found the ring in there, thank God! Smeagol left and I continued to looke around. I found some dump called... I can't exactly remember what it's called, (I think 'Norton's Tailor" or something)but who cares.

"Oooh...more bludd!" I squealed happily. There was a blood stain on the wall up the stairs. After I did some examining and crapola, a cutscene took over.

A girl in a pink dress and wore annoying little pigtails was running away from a dude with a really big hammer. But, she got thes-t smacked outta her.Before I got this game, this guy was my favoritest Entity: Sledgehammer. I loved him so much I jumped off the couch and pounced on the screen.

"SLEDGEHAMMER! I LUUUUUUVVVVVV YYYYYOOOOUUUU!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Thankfully, no one was in the house to hear it. My parents were skiing in Colorado, my sister was in Florida with her friends, and my brother was with my grandparents. All of them gone for two weeks. There was I lightning storm outside, but I didn't pay any attention to it. I hugged the screen until the cutscene ended. I played through the game for awhile. Blablablah, hiding from Sledgehammer, dodging blahblablah, evade points, blah, and finally, to top it all off, the boss battle! I didn't want to kill him, but after I saw the prettiful bow I got to use, I thought: What the heck? I shot him a buncha times, then went for the holy attack.

As soon as it went into the sky though, something odd happened. More lightning flashed, but it got through the roof and hit the PS2! I jumped up and saw the TV shake and flash a bright blue light. I grabbed some popcorn and pretended it was a light show. The PS2 exploded. My mouth fell open. I had only had this for an hour, and it busted! Darn you national disasters! In its place was a black aura. I had the urge to poke it, but I resisted.

It glowed lighter- er, darker- and took shape into the last thing I would imagine. I stood there staring at, and the first words that left my mouth were:

"SLEDGEHAMMER! HUUUUUUGGGG MMMEEEE!" And I pounced on the serial killer.

* * *

Well, there ya' have it! Yes, sadly, I am the world's ONLY Sledgehammer fangirl.


	2. Hit 'n run and scan games for viruses 'n...

Chapter 2 is here!

* * *

"Get off me!" Sledgehammer yelled as he threw me off his back. I can't believe it! Sledgehammer, the evil mass murderer was in my house! I know most of you wouldn't find this amazing and wonderful, but you aren't a sugar addict who has psychological problems. 

"Sledgehammer! What are you doing in my house?" I asked. He cocked his head and stared at his surroundings.

"I don't know. Last time I chacked, I was in London in the courthouse in front of the concert hall," he said as he looked around my room some more. I still stood there, too shocked to speak. I then realized that he was no longer in my room. I ran out to find him lifting up the TV and looking at the dust bunnies under it. Wait, how long have those kudos been under there? I don't even like kudos! Ignoring the mold covered cookies I turned my attention to the killer.

"If it is okay with you, I would like to request permission to glomp you excessively," I said happily and putting my usual 'I'm so stupid but I don't give a crap what you b-ds think of me' look. He stared at me with a confused look on his face, or what you could see of his face.

"What is 'glomping'," he asked. He raised his bloodstained hammer in defense. I thought for awhile, then an evil idea crawled into my evil, demonic mind of terror. Creative name, huh?

"Well, I'll show you!" I jumped backwards and ran around him in circles, making him dizzy. His eyes turned into swirls, and I saw my chance. I jumped on him and yelled my sacred battle cry!

"SLEDGEHAMMER! HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGG MMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!" He knocked me off of him and picked up his hammer and tried to charge me. I think I've pissed him off now...

"I was going to kill that wretch Alyssa, but you'll do just fine," he laughed. Now, I was in deep doodoo. He laughed his oh so attractive- I mean frightening laughter and swung at me! Luckily, I had jumped out of the way and tackled him again. I jumped up, giggled and ran away. He growled and chased after me.

I hid in the hall closet. I could've sworn I heard chase music or something... Maybe it was the fact the TV was still on. Either that, or...

"THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE BACK! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" I yelled while clutching my head.I jumped out of the closet, landing on my assailant. As soon as I realized where I was, I squealed and hugged him before running off. I was very huggative today. Wait, is that even a word? Ignoring that thought, I quickly ran into my sister's room. I locked the door and ran into our bathroom and hid behing the shower curtain. I heard him run past me. I quietly crept out and ran into the den. No killer to glomp! I was safe for the time being, right? Wrong! He came from behind and knocked me into the fireplace. I was covered in soot and ash. Are soot and ash the same thing? You people don't have to answer all these questions. I'm just incredibly curious. Sledgehammer laughed again and slowly came at me.

Don't you hate those situations where a serial killer has you backed into a wall and advances very slowly as if to intimidate you? I don't! I see this as an oppurtunity to attempt stunts performed in CT3! I grabbed something from the fireplace.

"BACK ADORABLE HUNK DEMON!" I held my weapon in front of his face. He had a blank look on his face and he pulled it away from me. Apparently brushes used for cleaning furnaces aren't affective weapons. He snapped it in half and picked up his hammer.

"Oh crap..." I muttered. Glomping him might've saved my life, but when you're backed into a corner- or furnace in my case- it's hard to jump out at someone. I stood there and awaited my untimely doom. Yay! I used a big word today! He laughed again and raised his weapon. My brain began to work. Then I remembered the most important fighting rule to break: No hitting below the belt. In came my kung-fu fighting skills and I... Well, I think you know what's coming next. He breathed in sharply and fell back, unconcious. I needed to stick this guy somewhere. I managed, after much effort, to drag him upstairs and stuff him into the bite-sized attic door. I sighed and realized something. I unlocked the door and dragged his hammer out. I stuffed it in another attic door. I ran downstairs and began to think.

"Okay! Let's look at problems for today! 1) I illeagally smuggled a PS2 and copy of CT3 into my house. 2) Something went screwy with it and a serial killer wound up in my house! 3) I am in love... Well... actually it's just a crazed obsession. Like all those Sora and Riku fangirls. Oh wait, I'm one of them. 4) I don't know how to send him back. Welp! My day sucks already!" I yelled and plopped down on the couch. I sighed and turned on the TV. Maybe this would help me think. I put on Crank Yankers and thought. Now, M.C. Hammer up there came out of the PS2. I ran to the ruins of the demolished haven of glory (sniff). The disc and cartridge were still in one piece. Hmmm... Why was that? I was going to use the upstairs computer, but then I remembered the hunk in the closet. I went in and used my dad's laptop.

I put the disc in and scanned it. The screen turned an eerie green, that kinda resembled green koolaid. An odd symbol appeared on it. I recognized it as the symbol that appeared when Alyssa Hamilton aquired the bow. But what did it mean?

"Ow... my brain hurts..." I decided to go to the only place I could unwind and think. But first, I had to relocate the Hammer's hammer...

To be continued...


	3. Taco Bell run!

I don't own Taco Bell! Nor do I own Gamespot

* * *

I took off my roller blades and entered Taco Bell after having successfully hidden the hammer in the pond near my house. I can't believe I skated halfway across the town, just to have a taco! Oh well, should I get a grande, medium or small? Ack! Focus Psycho! Focus! You've got a serial killer in your house! I walked up to the counter. I had a feeling I was going to be here for a while, so I ordered the largest meal that came to mind. 

"I would like three taco grandes and a large coke." The guy at the counter was staring at me like I was insane! Well, I kinda am, but that's not the point!I grabbed the grub and sat at a table in the back. I thought about that symbol. What did it mean? I only saw it once, and it was in that cutscene. But I never got to see what happened next. Fate would have it, God gave me a sign! Actually it was an ad on the side of the taco bag. I read it aloud. Come here for all your gaming needs! Walkthroughs, FAQ's and more!' Eurica!" I yelled and jumped up from the table. Everything went quiet in that restaraunt, but I didn't care. I ran out the door and put on my skates and raced home, I then remembered who was hidden in my attic. I got my 'I'm gonna glomp ya'' pose on and walked in. I cautiosly walked in, prepared to glomp anything that moves. Luck would have it, Sledgie jumped out holding my dad's hammer!

"Crap! I should've moved that too! Wait, why does Dad have a hammer?" I asked myself. I ridded myself of the thought and pounced on him. He flipped me over and tried to smash me. I rolled over and scrambled to my feet.I ran and pulled out a knife. Oh yeah, like THIS'll do me any good.

"Don't come any closer! I will hurt you!" He laughed and glared at me.

"I don't think so. It's your fault I'm here! And I'm never satisfied until one's debt is paid!" he growled.

"Okay, well here's twenty bucks! See ya'!" I handed him the wadded up bill and ran for my life.

"Hey! This is a five!" he called after me! I ran back to my haven (Taco bell), but I went to the one at the mall near my house. Why didn't I just go to this one earlier? I sighed and looked around. I sat down on a bench and nibbled my taco. I had to find a safe place to use the computer. I needed to find out about the symbol! Then it hit me like...like...

(A scene comes up where a random person is walkin' down the street and I crash into him sending us both flying into a garbage can that is dumped into a furnace.)

Like being thrown into a furnace with a random guy! I have friends! Friends have computers! Computers have internets! Internets have gamespot! I stuffed the taco in my mouthand ran toward the public phone. I dialed the number needed.

"Hey dude! Hey I need to use your computer. No, mine's uh, busted. NoI can't get it fixed! Just let me use yours pleeeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee? 'Kay thanx!" I yelled cheerily. I left the mall and ran for my friends house

* * *

"Waaaaassssssuuuuppp!" I called out my usual greeting. My friend smiled and opened up the door. 

"Hey (Psycho's real name goes here). CPU's upstairs," she smiled and let me in. I said thanks and hurried upstairs. I logged on the 'net and went to gamespot. I searched for CT3. I found it.

"Here we go! 'Walkthrough/FAQ'! Booyah!" I yelled I scrolled down to info about the boss battle. Nothin' on the symbol. So I took time to look at the rest of the walkthrough. It seems the symbol was the symbol of a rooder. I forgot what it said about it, but after some more research, in other words, hunting down CT3 nerds in Books-A-Million, Babadges, and Gamespot (The store), I found out that: If an entity were to escape into the real world. They wouldn't leave until the game (or they)was beaten. To me, it sounded like they were on crack or somethin' but I gave it a shot.I took my disc and cartridge and tracked down someone with a PS2. I beat the Sledgehammer part and went home. M.C. Hammer was still there. I am so sueing the Clock Tower nerds. How'd they know about the Entity crap anyways?

He was sitting on my couch, eating a plate of hot wings and watching a football game.

"(sweatdrop) Uhh, shouldn't you be gone now?"I asked. He turned around and looked at me. He picked up the hammer.

"Wook. I juff wana go home. Fo can hou find a way fo me to get home?" He asked with his mouth full 'o chicken. He swallowed.

"If I don't kill Alyssa, I'll be in big trouble!" I didn't want to tell him I was supposed to kick his butt, so I decided to help 'im out.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," I smiled a nervous smile. He nodded and put on a threatening grin.

"And if you fail, it'll be the last thing you do!" He laughed and I gulped. I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me..

To be continued...


	4. Requesting Backup!

Once again, I don't own anything in here except me, myself, and Sledgehammer. (glomps)

* * *

Sledgehammer laughed at my fear. I wouldn't be laughing! My knees are shakin' here! 

"Oh relax. I won't kill you... yet," he chuckled.I felt a wave of relief. Wait... YET! What the crap does "yet" mean! Am I gonna die anyways!

"Uh... What d'you mean by 'yet'?" I asked. Here we go! Stupid question of the day America!

"I mean: I WILL eventually kill you, just not right now." He smiled and laughed. WHAT! I was his only ticket outta here, and he was gonna kill me! Oh wait, I'm NOT his ticket outta here 'cause I can't interpret the crackhead's prophecy!

"But, you need me t'gat outta here! If you decide to kill me, I'll just glomp you 'til I find out how to get rid of you!" I yelled. I'm dead now... he had this look on his face. Y'know? The kind of look that makes the most hideous monsters cower in fear? He growled and was squeezing his hammer. I mean my dad's hammer. Does it really matter?

"FINE! But if you even THINK about glomping me, I'll kill you." I smiled. Oh sure, I couldn't glomp 'im, but he didn't say nothin' about tackling. Mwahahahahaha!

"Okie dokie! Now let's think! You came out of the PS2, right?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I came from London." I smacked my forehead. Duh! This is a game character! He thinks what he does is real!

"Okay, but you got here from meh PS2," I said. He shrugged and walked over to the remains of it.

"I came out of this?" I nodded and hatched a briliant idea.

"I got it! You came out of it, so we'll just put you back in!" I yelled. Sledgehammer sighed.

"In case you didn't notice, it kind of desinigrated," he muttered. Big word of the day that I don't know how to spell: desinigrated!

"I know, but I know some people who have one!" I raced to the phone. If you see "P:" I''m talking. if you see "K:", Katie's talkin'.

P: Hey Katie!

K: Hey Psycho!

P: What's up?Can I borrow your PS2?

K: Why?

P: Would you believe me ifI told youthe one I stole from the black market behind Publix exploded and I now have a seven foot tall serial killer in my house?

K: Ugh! Psycho! This is the twelth time this week! And it's only Tuesday!

P: I know! But I only have one week and six days before my parents come home! How am I supposed to explain this to them!

K: Tell 'em he's your long lost brother?

P: You're not helping!

K: (pouts) Fine! But next time, put in Kingdom Hearts! Sora might come out!

P: Can do! See ya' in a few!

K: Bye! (click)

I hung up and smiled. Sledgehammer glared at me. He's so cute when he's angry!

"Well?" he asked.

"I'm gonna try and get you back home. Hopefully, we'll think of something."

"'We?'"

"Yep! My friend's comin' over! She might be able to help!" His face turned into an expression of horror.

"I-i-is she like you?" I smiled an evil smile.

"Maybe!" There was a knock on the door. I ran as fast as I could to answer it. I opened it.

"Heeeeeerrrrreeeee's Katie!" she yelled.


	5. He won't fit!

I smiled and Katie put down the box she was carrying. I picked it up and inside was the PS2. (sniff) My boyfriend was going to leave me! I cried for a few seconds silently, trying to pull myself together.

"Psycho? Are you okay?" Katie asked. I sniffled some more and looked at the PS2.

"Yes..." I muttered. Katie looked at Sledgehammer.

"Psycho, did you know Astaroph is in your house.

"That's not Astaroph. Sledgehammer Katie, Katie Sledgehammer," I said. After introductions and a heck of a lot of convincing that Sledgehammer and Astaroph were NOT the same person- or even related for that matter, Katie asked the ultimate question.

"So, how ya gonna get 'im in the PS2?" I froze. Holy crap! I didn't even think about that until now! I don't think he'll fit where you put the games in!

"Um... I'm not sure." Katie sighed. I had a feeling we were gonna need a little more help, but I'll just wait and see.

"Well... We could stuff him in the little slot," I suggested. How stupid could I get today! Katie rolled her eyes.

"Psycho! We can't just stuff him in there!"

"Well whaddya suggest we do?"

"He has a hammer, right?" I think I know where this is going...

"Yeah, butI threw it in the lake when he tried to kill me!" Katie's face lit up.

"Hang on! I'll go get my snorkling equipment!" Snorkling? Nowhere in the job description did it say anything about snorkling! Katie came back ten minutes later to find me hugging Sledgehammer. (sigh) He's so cute!

"I got the snorkling stuff!" Katie yelled. After many painful hours of diving and trying to lift a 200 lb. hammer outta the lake. Owww... My arms are REALLY sore! We got it out. Although, I'M the one who dragged it up the stairs of my freakin' front porch! Katie walked behind me smiling happily. What on Earth was she planning?

"Okay! Sledgehammer! Stand in front of that PS2!" Sledgie shrugged and- THWAK!

"Don't call me Sledgie!" he growled as he smacked me with his oversized hand. I pouted. Oh yeah! Where was I? Sledgehammer shrugged and walked over to it.

"Bend over," Katie ordered. He bent to where his head was directly over the slot. Katie snickered and whispered something into my ear. I got this evil look on my face and nodded. This was gonna be good!

"What does this have to do with any- OW!" Katie and I had lifted the hammer and was smacking his head trying to get him in the slot.

"I think he's too (pant) big!" I grunted. Katie glared at me.

"Nonsense! He got out once, so he's sure to fit back in!" she yelled. We had been doing this for a few hours, and all we got in was his nose.

"He won't fit!" I said. Katie started thinking. I thought I heard Jeopardy music at that point. Hold on... I GOTS ME AN IDEA!

"KATIE! I GOTS ME AN IDEA!" I yelled. She covered her ears.

"Thanks for telling me."

"Your friend Kretzing still live in NY?"

"Last time I checked, yeah."

"Get her on teh phone!"

K: means kretzing

P: Psycho

(ringring)

K: Hello?

P: Um hi! My name's Psycho, I'm a friend of Katie's.

K: Oh! Is she there?

P: Mmhm! But I have a favor I need to ask you.

K: Ask away!

P: Could you send down some Surge please?

K: uhhhh yep!

P: Thanks! Bye!

K: Byebye!

I hung up and found Katie trying to get Sledgehammer's face out of the PS2. She pulled it out and he grabbed his hammer and hugged it like a little kid would hug a teddy bear. Without the thumb sucking of course...

"No one touches this, no one gets hurt! Kapeesh!" he asked.

"Uh... Yes?" Katie and I said together. The doorbell rang. I went to answer it.

"Special delivery for Crazy-Psycho-Chic!" a guy at the door said. I handed him some cash and opened up the box. Inside was ten bottles of Surge. Now, for those of you who don't know what Surge is, it's this drink that is LOADED and I mean LOADED with caffeine. It's been banned down here in the south where I live, so that's why I gave Katie's friend a call.

"What does this have to do with anyhting?" the attractive maniac inquiried as he studied the carbonated substance. w00t! I said somethin' smart today!

"When someone's on Surge, anyhting can happen!" I squeeled happily. Sledgehammer's face turned into a mask of horror. Crap, I'm stating to scare myself!

"you're not going to drink it, are you?" he asked. I shook my head.

"What are you? Crazy? That's nuts! Katie's gonna drink it!" I said. Katie shook her head.

"No way! Remember what happened last time?" Katie asked. Yay! I luv flashbacks!

FLASHBACK:

"Katie! That man is not David Hasslehoff!" I yelled. Oh crap... I remember this!

"I love you Davy Wavy!" she cried hugging the clerk. No more taking her to Publix!

"Katie! Leave the nice man alone!"

"Never! Lookie! Even his nametag says he'd David Hasslehoff!" She pulled it off and shoved it in my face.

"See? It says 'Dave'!" she yelled.

"Uh, my name's Charlie-"

"SILENCE DAVE!" Katie dragged him out the door and I carried the food to the car... myself.

END FLASHBACK:

"C'mon Katie! Drink it! Pllllleeeeeeeaaaassssseeeee?" I asked while getting really big Chibi eyes. No one could resist that!

"...No..." she muttered. Okay! Time to bring out the heavy artillary!

"Sledgie! Grab her!"

"Don't call me Sledgie! And why should I?"

"The more time you spend arguing, the more time you spend with me!" That seemed to get his attention! He grabbed Katie and I forced a bottle of Surge down her throat. Katie sat on the floor for awhile with a blank look on her face. After a few minutes she jumped up and ran to me.

"Hipsychowhat'supIseedeadpeoplelollmao!" Translation: Hi Psycho what's up I see dead people lol lmao. She raced around the house some more and glomped Sledgehammer. Wait... rewind and freeze1 She's huggin' MY man! I tackled her and held her up against the wall.

"PsychoIseeDavidHasslehoffinyourhousehow'dhegetoutofthetv?" (Psycho I see David Hasslehoff in your house how'd he get out of the tv?) she asked. Oh yeah. She was hyper. This was all we needed!


	6. Sledgehammer vs Barney

Katie continued to bounce off the walls and call Sledgie Wedgie David Hasslehoff. What's in that stuff anyway? I now understand why it was banned down here...

"PsychoiwannatakeDavyWavyhomeforawhilewecangethimbackinthePS2laterokay!" (Psycho I wanna take Davy Wavy home for awhile we can get him back in the PS2 later okay!) You all are lucky I'm here to translate for you! Sledgehammer pried her off his leg and walked over to me.

"Is your friend going to be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just as long as she's only had one bottle, we'll be fine!" I chirped. Katie once again clung to Sledgehammer's leg.

"IluvyouDavy!" (I luv you Davy!) Katie screamed. I shook my head and walked over to the hyperactive teen.

"Katie, I need you to stuff Sledgehammer-"

"DavidHasselhoff!"

"Fine! I need you to stuff 'David Hasselhoff' in the PS2 for me." Katie stared at me for a second.

"Why?"

"He needs to go home." Katie pouted and hugged Sledgehammer.

"David'snewhomeiswithmenow! CanIkeep'im?" she asked. (David's new home is with me now! Can I keep 'im?) Doesn't that sound familiar? I got one of those big anime sweatdrops on my head and looked at Sledgehammer.

"Sledgie, stand in front of the PS2 again," I ordered.

"No way! I'm not standing in front of anymore game consoles!" he shouted. Katie began twitching rapidly. I think now is when I should be worryingabout her like a good friend would.

"Katie, you okay?" I asked. She continued to twitch and I looked over at where the 12 pack of Surge was.

"Oh no..." I moaned. She drank all TWELVE bottles! She was quiet for awhile. Oh, those of you with weak stomachs may want to leave the room...

"I'M SO FREAKING HYPER!" DUCK AND COVER! Sledgehammer looked at the typing curiosly.

"Um, just a second ago, you mushed all her words together. If she's eleven times more hyper, why are her words seperate?" he asked. I shrugged.

"The more hyper she gets, the better she talks. It's an odd genetic disorder or something," I explained.

"Oh. Wait, how am I reading what's being typed?"

"You tell me smart guy," I muttered. How was he reading the typing? Anyway, Katie attached herself to Sledgehammer's head and was saying something about marrying her, but I don't think that's important.

"Katie, please put Sledgie in the PS2 for me?" I begged. Katie cocked her head and looked at me.

"But Davie and I are gettting married in a spring garden in the land of the tigers!" she squealed. Sledgehammer got a big anime sweat drop on his head and turned to me for help. I thought a bit and my brain hatched an idea.

"Katie-chan, if youput him in it, I'll... let you visit him whenever you want," I suggested. Hey, when your brain is corrupted by sugar, you normally say the first thing that comes to mind. She thought it over (OrI think she did...) and nodded. She spit on her hands and rubbed them together. Those with weak stomachs who didn't leave, RUN NOW! I stood there in shock for what seemed like forever. Katie opened the PS2, and stuffed him in, hammer and all! You may vomit in the nearest trashcan because it was NOT a pretty sight.

"OMG! HTF DID YOU DO THAT?" I asked. She shrugged and began to jump around the house singing the "Llama llama duck song". I picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Too bad I forgot to change the channel. When I turned it on, I saw the entire cast of Spongebob with their heads smashed in! I looked around and saw Sledgie standing above Squidward laughing maniaclly. My turn for the sweatdrop! I was about to ask what was going on, when Katie flipped the channel.

"I hate this show!" she growled. When she did, the South Park theme came on.

"CHANGE IT!" I yelled. South Park doesn't deserve to die!(click)we now return to The Ring (click) (Jaws theme) (click) Teletubbies, Teletubbies...

"Ooh! Keep it here!" I yelled. Katie stared at me for awhile.

"If you wanted to watch this, you could have just told me."

"No! You saw what Sledgie did to Spongebob, right?" Katie nodded. This was gonna be good...

2 minutes later...

"Aaaaaahhhh! Not fun! Not fu-" Bye bye Tinkie Winkie.

"Waaah! Waaah!" So long Dipstick.

"Eeeeee!" Adios Lala.

"Big hug!" Later Po. Well, after successfully assassinating the teletubbies, Sledgehammer turned to us.

"Get me outta here!" he growled. I shook Katie and told her to:

'Turn it to Barney! Turn it to Barney!" She did that and on came the playground scene. I know the areas 'cuz my brother used to watch it ALL the time. It drives you nutters, ya' know?

"Well lookie here!" the purple retard said, "We have us a new friend! What's you're name?" Sledgehammer began to twitch. Katie and I looked at each other. Now where's that video camera...

I guess you know what happens next folks. Sledgie Wedgie (try saying that 10 times fast!)swung his hammer at Barney, and I'll be the Queen of Hearts here.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" I yelled. Katie jumped up and down and clapped while singing:

"Ding dong the retards dead!" I then realized: we need to get him out of there.

"Katie, can you get him out for me?" I asked. She pushed the eject button and a disc that looked like Sledgehammer all scrunched up popped out. She shook it a couple of times. You know how in cartoons like Bugs Bunny or something when a character gets flattened, another charater shakes him and he returns back to normal? That's how this was.

She shook him a few times, and pop goes the maniac! I just had to do that...

"Well, that didn't work. We need some help," I stated.

"Who are we gonna ask?" Katie asked while hugging Sledgehammer tightly.

"We need someone smart, someone with a longer attention span than... I never noticed how pretty the lights are..." Sledgehammer smacked his forehead and looked at me. Hey, it's not my fault I have a short... Ooooohh... Shiny nickel...

"Argh! Stay focused please!" the attractive hammer wielding maniac yelled. I snapped out of my trance and looked around.

"What was I talking about? Oh yeah! Someone who has food! Someone like..."

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Katie yelled while jumping up and down.Yay! Her sugar indosed head was finally working right!

"Who?"

"We need Zoe!" Of course our intelligent friend who actually knows what's happening in the world surrounding us! Why didn't I think of that?

"Because you were to busy staring at lights and a nickel," Sledgehammer said. How was he still reading the typing?

"I'm not sure, but stop calling me Sledgie!" Dangit! He did it again!

"Let's go guys," I sighed. Katie bounced out the door, followed by me.Wait, where does Zoe live?

"Uh guys, where does Zoe live?" I asked. Sledgie- (death glare from Sledgehammer) I mean... Sledgehammer stared at me in shock and annoyance.

"You don't even know?" he asked. I laughed nervously and shook my head. He glared at me and was squeezing his hammer. Katie began to think again. I could tell because she was bouncing up and down singing the smurf theme song. That normally means she's thinking.

"I know guys!" she chirped happily. Finally! We're getting somewhere!

"Alrighty! Lead the way Katie-chan!" I yelled.

20 minutes later...

"H-h-h-h-how did w-w-w-w-we g-get in Ant-t-t-tarctic-c-ca?" I asked. This was NOT Zoe's house!

"Whoops! Wrong turn!" Katie said. Sledgehammer growled.

200 seconds later...

"CHINA? HTF DID WE GET IN CHINA IN UNDER2 MINUTES?" I yelled.

"My question is, how are we defying the laws of physics and jumping from continent to continent?" Sledgehammer mumbled. Katie stared at the sky and sang the smurf song again.

"Oh yeah! Zoe lives in Canada!" Canada? She does not live in Canada! She lives in the same sate- the same COUNTRY for that matter- as we do! How could she get (my state) and Canada confused?

2,000,000,000,000,000,000 milliseconds later...

"We're in Canada!" Katie yelled.

"Um, Katie. This is your backyard," I told her.

"Nuh uh! The sign says 'Can-a-da! Canada!' she said angrily.

"No. That says: 'Beware our teen has rabies'," I said trying not to laugh. Where did her parents get that sign? I could use one of those for when my sister turns 13.

"Hey guys! Who's the exocutioner?" We turned around to see Zoe looking over the fence. Yay! Someone who can help! Katie glomped Zoe and scramed;

"HI ZOE! HOW'S LIFE IN CANADA? (gasp) Psycho! We need to sing Canada'a national anthem!" she said. I shrugged. It can't hurt anything. Plus, I'm bored.

"_Oh beautiful for spacious skies,_  
_For amber waves of gray,_

_For purple mountains do the polka,_

_And everyon'es insane!_

_America and Canada!_

_God shed his grace on thee!_

_And crown thy good with garden gnomes,_

_From hood to shining hood!"_

Katie and I clapped and wiped the tears out of our eyes.

"Hooray for the two greatest countries on Earth!" I sobbed. (sniff) That song really gets to ya'! We hugged each other and cried saying:

"It's so beautiful!" Zoe and Sledgehammer got sweatdrops on the back of their heads.

"Houston, we have a problem..."

TBC...


	7. The 'Nutcracker'

New ficcy out! Read it or die! Oh, the National Anthem we sang belongs to Kretzing. Jimmy belongs to Katie.

* * *

After we were done sobbing, we went inside Katie's house. I'm serious! That is the most beautiful song you can here in life! Better than that _Every daisy has it's needles_ or whatever thatcrappy song is. 

"Okay, so he's from a video game?" Zoe asked. We nodded

"And he came out of a destroyed PS2?" Nod.

"And Psycho's his only fangirl?" Nod.

"Squee!" I went taking in pride that I was his one and only fangirl.

"And you put him back in once and that resulted in the cancelling of Barney, Teletubbies, and Spongebob?" Nod again.

"And you came to me why?"

"You're the only one who knows what's going on in life!" I chirped. Zoe got a super-sized sweatdrop on her head and she turned away. I think she's annoyed with us already. Sledgehammer looked around and pulled a heartless out of the cushions.

"What the?" he said. The small heartless aqueaked and jumped on Sledgie's head.

"AAAAAAHHH! KILLER RAT! GET IT OFF! And stop calling me Sledgie!" he yelled. He's _still_ reading the typing? The shadow scratched Sledgehammer's face and hissed. He grabbeed it and threw it off. It would have hit the wall, if Katie didn't jump in front of it and grab it.

"Stop! You could've hurt Jimmy, David!" Katie yelled as she hugged the heartless and stroked its horns. Apparently she's still convinced he's David Hasselhoff.

"Jimmy?" I asked. I knew she had a pet heartless under her sister's bed (that would explain the odd creature that lived under there that she aptly named Fred), but I thought her parents would make her get rid of it! But she was keeping it! Do you know what could happen with a heartless in your house? (crickets chiring) Apparantly not.

"Yep! Isn't he cute?" she asked.

"No! Well, yes, but that thing could easily rip out your heart while you were sleeping!"I yelled trying to get as far away from the pint-sized threat. Katie glared at me.

"Jimmy would never!"

"Then explain that." I pointed out the window we all looked out and saw Jimmy standing on a dead guy snacking on his heart. Behind him were twelve other ppl! Hearts ripped out! Not pretty!

"Well... Are you gonna help me out now?" Sledgehammer asked impatiently. We were still shocked by Jimmy's "betrayal", that we didn't remember why we were here. Zoe looked at him.

"Erm... What _are_ we going to do to him?" she asked. We turned around. Or I did. Katie ran out trying to convince the SWAT team that Jimmy wasn't a threat.

"I'm not sure. We could leave and go find someone who might know what's going on," I suggested. Zoe nodded.

"That's a good idea, but what about him?" she asked pointing to my boyfriend.

"I'm not your boyfriend!" he yelled and came at me with his hammer.

"Sqeek!" I yelled and dove behind the couch. I looked up cautiosly.

"What about him?" I asked.

"We can't just leave him here by himself! What if someone sees him? We don't need two visits from the FBI today!" she yelled just as Katie slammed the door behind her. I looked at her purse. Since when did it have horns?

"AAAAAAHHH! MUTANT PURSE!" I screamed ant ducked behind the couch again. Zoe raised an eyebrow and a little lightbulb appeared above her head.

"Hey! Why doesn't Katie watch him?" she said cheerfully. Katie's face lit up.

"You mean, I get to spend quality time with Davy Wavy?" she asked as her eyes turned into large hearts. I nodded.

"Yep. Here are the ground rules Katie.

1. No leaving the house. With or without Sledgehammer. No one can know about this.

2. No inviting anyone over while he's here. Otherwise, your friends will think you're crazier than you already are.

3. Absolutely NO accepting calls from my sister! She really doesn't need to find out about this!

4. If you do talk to her, don't say anything about Sledgie!

Follow these rules, and I'll give you a cookie!" I said. Sledgehammer threatened me with his hammer again. I wish he would stop reading what I'm typing!

"We'll be back soon!" Zoe yelled. We were about to leave when Sledgehammer grabbed our ankles.

"Please don't take long! Your friend is begining to scare me!" We looked at Katie and she was on the ceiling fan, holding a chainsaw (thank God it wasn't on!), and chanting:

"Pie esu domine, dona eis requiem..." And then she whacked herself in the head with a broken off piece of the wooden blade. (w00t! Monty Python!) She continued to do this until I turned on the ceiling fan and sent her flying.

"Leprechauns!" she yelled before flying out the window. A few seconds later she was on Sledgehammer's head again.

"Bye guys!" she yelled as we closed the door and left.

"Mwhahahahahahaha..."

* * *

I have a piece of advice for all of you. Never, I mean NEVER, go to a video game store and try to exlain a bizzare situation to the master of all games. We tracked him down in the local Babadges and we told him our problem. 

He called us insane and threw us out. The nerve of that guy. Feeling defeated, we trudged back to Katie's house, only to find something worse...

Katie had Sledgehammer on puppet strings! That isn't even the worst part! She had him in a pink tutu- although it looked rather fetching on him- and was making him dance the Nutcracker! I've seen things that were sick and wrong, but this takes it to a whole new level!

"Bwahahahaha! Dance my puppet! Dance!" she commanded. Sledgehammer glared at her and tried to rip the stings off. This made Katie angry.

"You shall pay for this!" she yelled. She pulled the strings apart and made him do a split. Ouch!

"Now...I know why they...call it the 'Nutcracker'!" he wheezed. ...Ewwwwww! That's nasty, but funny in a way!

"Bad David Hasselhoff! Now we must do it again!" She made him do a split again and he screamed in agony. Ooh, that had to hurt! Zoe shook her head and pulled out a cookie.

"Here Katie! Go get the nice double chocolatey chip with m&m's and sprinkles!" Zoe called. Katie dropped the strings and ran to Zoe. She grabbed the cookie and stuffed it in her mouth. I quickly detached Sledgehammer and he ripped off the tutu. See folks? This is why men shouldn't wear pink! He grabbed his hammer and came at all three of us.

"I don't care if you are my only way out! I'm killing you all! Right here, right now!" Oh shitaki mushrooms...

We took off in three different directions: Katie right into Sledgehammer (but she missed and went out the open window...), me up the stairs, and Zoe through the kitchen. Sledgehammer looked out the window and searched for Katie. He found her, but she let go of the top of the window and landed on his head screaming: "I luv you David Hasselhoff!"

He gave up searching for her when she decided to follow a squirrel down teh road and into Starbucks. I guess he knew what could happen with her there...

He walked up the stairs looking for me next. Normally, I would be overcome with joy to see my fantasies come true, but when someone you stalk/worship (not really. I worship God! But I do stalk him!) tries to kill you, you normally want to get away as fast as you can. He opened the door to the bathroom. No me. Katie's room. Nope. San Francisco. Nada. Just between you and me, I'm in the laundry room!

"Thanks for that!" he yelled. Crap! He's still reading the typing, isn't he? He walked in and grabbed me by the throat.

"Ack! Can't breath!" I yelled. What happened next was something even I couldn't have seen coming. Katie's heartless, Jimmy, jumped on his head again.

"AAAAAAAHHH! IT'S BACK!" he yelled while trying to pry Jimmy off his adowable head. Tee hee! Jimmy scratched his face and hopped on my shoulder. I ran outta there, holding onto the heartless and not looking back. Zoe came out from under the sink.

"Is he gone?" she asked.

"No, but I'd run if I were you!" We ran towards Starbucks and found Katie. She looked at us and was twitcching like a madman.

"H-h-h-hi guys! Wh-wh-what's u-up?" she twitched.

"Katie? Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded and said.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yep! I've only H-h-h-h-h-h-h-had t-t-t-t-tw-tw-twelve cappucinos!" she yelled. Zoe, Jimmy, and I hugged each other and shivered. This wasn't going to end well. The clerk behind the counter tapped me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me? Is there a miss Crazy-Psycho-Chic here?" she asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Phonecall for you." I took the phone and held it to meh ear.

"Mushi Mushi?" I said.

"GET YOUR LAZY BUTT BACK HERE AND GET ME INTO LONDON!" a voice roared. I knew who's voice _that_ was.

"Hey! Don't yell at me! You're the one who tried to killus!" I scramed back. I heard a frustrated growl on the other line. (sigh) His voice sounds so sexy when he's angry!

"...You're really starting to creep me out, ya know?" Zoe said.

"Oh great! Now _everyone_ can read the typing!" I yelled angrily.

"Well, duh! We're in a fanfiction! We can do whatever we want!" Sledgehammer yelled on the other line.

"Yeah! Like fly!" Katie yelled. She got on top of Starbucks and jumped off. She landed with a hard thud.

"Okay! We still can't do that!" she yelled. Oooh! That one _really _had to hurt! Ew! Blood everywhere! Oh wait, that's roadkill. Ah! There she is! Wait, how is she perfectly fine? She fell from like, two stories or something! Aw,who cares! We got some cappucionos to go (decaf for Katie!) and headed to Katie's house. We found Sledgehammer sitting on the couch.

"I'ts about time!" he yelled. We glared at him and Katie held Jimmy in front of her.

"Fear the heartless!" she yelled. Sledgehammer stood up and grabbed Jimmy. Katie's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't!" she gasped. Katie pulled out the puppet strings and held them towards him.

"Aaah! Not again!" he cried. He threw Jimmy at Katie and she caught him.

"Wait! I know someone else who can help!" Katie yelled as she put her pet down.

"Who?" we asked.

"Follow me!" Katie yelled. We went up to her room and she lifted the bottom part of the covers of her bed. Before we knew what was happening, a pair of hands grabbed Zoe and tried to drag her down. I grabbed her hair and pulled.

"Ow! Psycho! That hurts! Quit it!" Sledgehammer grabbed my ankles. Katie laughed and kicked him. We flew under and Katie and Jimmy crawled in after us.

_To be continued..._


	8. Halloween Town

Hello! Will someone -anyone- read and review my AmA/KH crossover? I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unloved!

* * *

"Eeep!" 

Okay! You ever had a bad day where things keep getting worse and worse? If you haven't I sooooo envy you.Recap of event: Psychotic killer in house, psycho friends trying to help fellow psycho (but things not going so well), friend has pet heartless, we randomly travel to Starbucks,and now this.

Katie kicked us under her bed and you won't believe where we ended up!

"Halloween Town? How can Halloween Town fit uner your bed?" Zoe screamed. I wanted to ask the same question myself...

"I don't know. Ask him!" Katie held up Jimmy, who held up a picture of Dr. Finklestine.

"How did DF get this joint under your bed?" I asked. Katie shrugged and held out some dresspheres (reference: FFX-2).

"How'd you get these?" I asked, taking one and inspecting it carefully. Katie shrugged and cracked hers open. (Note: I don't know how you would activate dresspheres in real life. I apologize to YRP if I did it wrong!)

"You know YRP doesn't exist, don't you?" Sledgehammer muttered. GGRRRAAAHHH!

"STOP READING THE FREAKING TYPING YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR ASTAROPH! YOU DON'T EXIST EITHER IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE!"

Everyone: 00

I took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm myself down. Zoe cautiously walked up to me.

"You okay Psycho-chan?" she asked. I nodded.

"I would feel a lot better if a certain sexy maniac (points to Sledgie) would stop reading what I type," I sniffed. Katie got a sweatdrop on her head and we noticed her wardrobe change. She had on a grey shirt with black stripes, a cap with yellow heartless eyes and kitty ears, black jeans, and a tail.

"Nice duds," Zoe said before cracking hers. I cracked mine and couldn't wait to see what I got.

Zoe had bat wings, a black shirt with grey streaks, a long black skirt, and a witch hat. Mine... well...

"Guys look! A bouncywild!" Katie yelled. I was one of those monkey heartless with pigtails! At least my clothes were black and grey as well. Jimmy ended up with what was MY sphere! He had large dragon wings, an all grey shirt, black jeans, and red eyes.

"What do I get?"Sledgehammer asked.

"Squeak squeek squeker, squeekity squeak squeke squeekin', squeak, squeakato!" I yelled. Holy Knights of Ni! I can speak Heartless!

"Psycho says: No offense Sledgie, but you're scary enough, cute, but scary!" Katie translated.

"Well, this is awkward." We turned to take a look at Jimmy again, and he was HOT!

"Hello!" Katie said, her eyebrows moving up and down. My yellow eyes turned into pink hearts.

"Squeaky! Squeak Squeak Skawwwweeeeeeeekkkkk!" I drooled. He had short, black hair, that hung down in the front like Sephiroth's (I'm guessing those were his antenae...), and bright yellow eyes with large pupils. He was musculat like Riku, but had a childish look to him, like Sora.

Katie didn't bother to stop and translate, we already glomped him.

"Mistress? Could you please get off me?" he asked. Katie shook her head and hugged him tighter. I stayed attached to his leg and began squeaking.

"Squee! Sqqqqqqqqqqqquuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkk!" Katie glared at me.

"He will most certainly not marry you! I am his master, he must obey moi!" she yelled as she kicked me off. I growled. How dare she seperate me from my other honeypie!

"I don't want to be a part of this anymore..." Sledgehammer sighed as he walked away. Zoe nodded and followed.

Meanwhile, Guillontine Gate was becoming the arena for the world's biggest catfight. I was clawing at Katie's face, and she whacked at me with a large stick she found. I can only remember a few snippets of the conversation that took place during it (we both had our heads hit with Sledgie's hammer at the same time afterwards), so I'll type what I can remember:

Katie: You filthy pixie stick eating, pigtail wearing, banana peel chucking primate! Face my wrath!

Me: Squeek Squeke Squeekin'!

Katie: Leave my mother out of this! Die Jimmy stealer!

Me: SQQQQQUUUUUEEEEEKKKK!

Katie: Ack! When could heartless cast Thundaga?

Me: Squeek Squeak.

Katie: I understand that, but you aren't a Yellow Opera! You're a bouncy wild!

Me: Squeekity!

Katie: It was not my fault! You probably switched the dresspheres on purpose!

Me: Squeeek?

Katie: I don't know! Maybe you thought it would get me in trouble!

Me: 00 SQQQQUUUUEEEAAAAKKK!

Katie: Look out? For what?

THWACK!

Zoe's POV:

Ack! Oh my God! Are they dead? Sledgehammer just thwacked Katie and Psycho over the head with his oversized mallet!

"OMG! You killed Katie (and Psycho)! You b-d!" I yelled. Psycho sat up and held a sign that said:

SOUTH PARK ROOLZ! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Sledgehammer and I got sweatdrops on the back of our heads. Katie sat up and looked at her surroundings.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in Halloween Town, Mistress," Jimmy said. Psycho attached herself to his head, and Katie tried to pry her off, but in the end, it began another fight. Ooo! That was not pretty!

THE FOLLOWING SCENE HAS BEEN CUT FOR THE CONVIENCE OF THE AUDIENCE AND TO KEEP THE RATING PG... OR AS IT IS NOW PRINTED: K!

The program may now continue.

Okay... What was the point of that?

"When was this a program?" Sledgehammer asked me. I shrugged.

"I have no idea. Can we get back to the plot line?"

"What's a plot line?" Psycho and Katie asked. Actually, Psycho just squeaked some more.

"Squeak squeak squeaking skweik?" Psycho asked Katie. She nodded and handed Psycho another dressphere. Psycho cracked it and looked just like Jimyy.

Psycho's POV:

Finally! I'm human again!

"Soooo... What is the point of us being here?" Sledgehammer asked.

"Oh yeah! We need to find Dr. Finklestein," Katie said.

"Why?"

"Because he may know how to get David Hasselhoff back into the PS2. Plus, we're gonna be in a lot of trouble ifDavy's not gone by the time our parents get back." We all mumbled in agreement.

"Alright! Let the journey of the Fellowship begin!" Katie yelled.

"Wrong movie Katie," I said.

12.37 hours of running around in confusion later...

"Are we there yet?" I asked. How hard is it just to find a lab? It's not underground or anything! It's the biggest building in the town!

"No! must you ask every two seconds?" Sledgehammer yelled. I smiled and nodded. Jimmy sniffed around the area and howled.

"0o; Katie, something's wrong with your heartless," Zoe said, pointing to Jimmy.

"He's got a scent! C'mon!" We ran after Katie and Jimmy, who were somehow going seventy miles per hour.

At the lab...

DING DONG!

"What? Who is it?" an annoyed voice called through the door.

"Dr. Finklestine! It's me! Katie! I brought Jimmy too!" Katie yelled hloding Jimmy by the arm. Dr. Finklestine opened the door.

"Oh, hello Kimmy. How are you?" he asked.

"It's Katie, and I'm fine. We need your help doctor-"

"I can tell! This girl's outfit is horrible! I've never seen such poor designery (is that a word?)!" he yelled.

"Hey! You don't look any better!" I yelled, threatening him with a large rock. he scooted back a little and looked at Sledgehammer.

"Well, I think I can see the problem," Finklestine said. He handed Sledgie a copy of "The South Beach Diet".

"Hey! I'm not fat!" Sledgehammer yelled. He quickly turned around and nibbled a carrot stick.

Everyone: 0o;

"No... See, here's what happened: Psycho bought a PS2 and a copy of CT3 a few days ago. It exploded in a lightning storm and Sledgehammer came out. We've been trying to get him back in, but..."

"We suck at our job!" I yelled happily. I take pride in knowing that I have the ability to screw evrything up and make it look funny!

"Exactly! We were wondering if you could help us," Katie said. The doctor rubbed his chin and thought to himself.

"Alright. All of you under the age of thirty, leave. The fat one stays!" he ordered.

"I'm not fat!" Sledgehammer yelled.

Later...

"Ugh, I'm bored..." I moaned as I kicked at a rock. We had been sitting outside the lab for an hour, waiting for DF's answer. Zoe was lying down on a rock, and Katie was teaching Jimmy how to take her on a date.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Zoe asked. Katie raised her hand.

"I know! Let's all do the Numa Numa dance!" she yelled.

"YAAAAAAYYY!" I yelled.

_Maia hii Maia huu Maia hoo Maia haha_

_Maia hii Maia huu Maia hoo Maia haha!_

_Maia-_

"SHUT THE HECK UP!" someone yelled before hitting us in the head with tomatoes. Hmph! Some people don't appreciate quality music!

"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP!" Katie yelled, throwing a rock at the tomatoe launcher.

"Katie! You just killed that man... er zombie!" I yelled. Katie smiled.

"Now where were we?" she asked.

"Please don't sing that song!" Zoe moaned.

"Yeah, you chicks ain't exactly Utada Hikarus."

We turned around to see a teenage boy with spiky brown hair, a pumpkin on the side of his head, blue eyes with slits, and a black and grey wardrobe similar to ours. That could only mean...

"SORA! DONALD! GOOFY!" Katie and I yelled before glomping them. They screamed and tried to get out of our grasps. Zoe slapped her forehead and pulled us off. We shoved Zoe off of us and began to fight over who got to glomp Sora next. We were stopped by the sound of the lab door opening. We rushed over and saw Sledgehammer in a large pod.

"I cannot get him back in," he said sadly. Our jaws dropped. Sledgehammer pounded on the glass and I'm not going to print what he said due to the use of... "colorful vocabularyisness".

"That's not a real word," Dr. Finklestine said. Okay, if someone else reads the tyiping, they will suffer a horrible, painful, fire loaded, unpleasant, filled with pointy things, totall-

"GET ON WITH IT!" everyone in Halloween Town yelled at once.

"Sorry!" toally non harmless death.

"What I meant to say was, I can't send him back, unless you get some things for me," Dr. finklestine said while adjusting his glasses.

"What do we look like? Maids?" Katie asked sarcastically.

"They're to help get him back in! I need you to get..." I grabbed a notebook and pencil.

"One shower head, two hatchets, four individual parts of scissors, a heart of a rooder, and a soda. I'm parched!"

"Does anyone else find it odd that all of these have to do with CT3?" I asked, looking them over.

"I think we can get everything except the heart. I don't know any rooders. I don't even know what a rooder is!" Zoe yelled.

"Well, a bottle of lavender water will do just fine."

"Why are we getting stuff related to the game?" I asked, putting away the notebook.

"I need things from his memories. I can merge them together to open a portal to his world."

"Alright. But no soda for you!" Katie yelled before running out the door.

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

I officially now own Clock Tower 3! Kids, this goes to show you, if you bug your parents for three weeks, they will give in eventually! I beat the game in six hours though. That crap was short! Ah well. TO CLEAR MODE! 


	9. Takin Care of Business!

New chapter! And guess what! It's a songfic! I don't know all the words to this song (and I couldn't find them on the net), so I'll write what I know... Which is basically the chorus 12 times in a row...

* * *

_Taking care of business, every day,_

_Taking care of business, every way,_

_Taking care of business, and working overtime!_

Okay, here's the game plan: I collect the scissors and shower head, Katie grabs the lavender water and soda, and Zoe takes care of the hatchets. The scissors I had no problem with, I just pulled a couple of pairs of scissors apart.

But the shower head was another story...

You can't really find one lying around on the ground, can you? I ran into the bathroom and stood on the toilet.

"Great. It's never the easy way out, is it?" I said while pulling on the shower head.

_Taking care of business, every day,_

_Taking care of business and working overtime!_

Katie:

Jeez, I got the easiest task of all! All I had to do was go to the fridge and grab the soda (Which we truly don't need), then run down to the cellar and open up the emergency supply of lavender water. We have that in case unholy creatures rise from the dead and attack us to drain out our souls and feed them to the minions of Hades!

After collecting them, I heard this noise upstairs and saw the sink being pulled in. That can only mean...

"PSYCHO! THE RUNESCAPE NEWBS ARE COMING FOR ME! NYYYYOOOOOOO!" I screamed while running upstairs to the bathroom. I shut and locked the door. I know the newbies are coming for me, 'cause when I was playing once, I saw something rising from the sink. Psycho said it was just a glitch, but when it came out of the sink, it said: "w00t! I 4m t3h n00b of t3h s1nk! Ph33r m3h!"

I haven't been the same ever since...

"Glad you showed up! Help me get this thing out!" I turned to see Psycho pulling on the shower head with a crowbar.

"What're you doing?" I asked. Last time Psycho did this, she was trying to obtain a scepter to rule the world. That didn't end too well.

"Getting the shower head! Help me!" she yelled. I nodded and help pull.

_Taking care of business, every day,_

_Taking care of business every way,_

Zoe:

Man, where the heck am I going to find two hatchets? Psycho's dad has a hammer, a chainsaw, and axe, and a leafblower, but no hatchets! Why do they need a hammer anyway? Nevermind, I'm too afraid to ask...

I walked out to Katie's garden shed and walked in. The shack was pretty big. It also served as a hideout from possessed kudos, or at least that's what Psycho and Katie say. It has a small, unmade bed, a curtain in the back that covered a corner, and a desk with books piled on top of it. I turned my attention to the wall, seeing ten hatchets sticking out. Kudos mst be very powerful if they need all these! I heard a laugh echo through the room. Sorta like the Joker (batman) with bronchitis. Out from behing the curtain stepped a man covered in body paint and tatoos. I tilted my head to the side curiously.

"Wait, this isn't London, is it?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Crap. I knew I was supposed to take a left at Hungary!" he growled.

"(sweatdrop) Erm, London's that way," I said while pointing west. He smiled and left.

"Well that was awkward," I muttered before grabbing the hatchets and looking for Psycho and Katie.

(That appearance was for Alice Redqueen! The only Chopper fangirl that I know of!)

Psycho:

"Pull harder!" Katie yelled. We had two crowbars, five chimpanzees, and for some reason Menchi from Excel Saga pulling on the shower head and it still wouldn't come loose!

"Face it! It's not coming loose!" Katie yelled while hitting the toilet out of frustration. I glared and continued to pull with the monkies.

"Of course it will! We just have to pull harder!" I barked. Menchi barked too.

"Will you get out of here?" I growled.

"Wait! Let Menchi sing his song!" one of the monkies cried. Menchi sang the Menchi song and I slumped against the wall thinking about how to unhook the shower head and roast canine sushi.

_Takin care of care of care of care of-_ **BOOM!**

We ran downstairs to see the CD player hd exploded.

"Nooooo! Quick Psycho! Get the medical gear!" Katie yelled while trying to put it back together. I came back holding a third-aid kit (you have to see the Fairly oddparents to get this joke).

"Quick! We're loosing him!" Zoe walked in with a wtf look on her face. I rubbed the little things that go fwoosh together and they crackled with electricity.

"CLEAR!" I yelled and shocked the boombox. The monitor showed nothing. If I were you, I would imagine this on the set of ER, just to make it more amusing.

"Nothing!" Katie yelled.

"CLEAR!" BBBBBUUUUZZZZ... Bleep... Bleep...

"Is it supposed to have a heartbeat?" Zoe asked while taking a few steps back. Katie shrugged and kicked it.

_Kingdom Hearts Awakening plays_

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I am cursed!" Katie yelled. Katie is cursed with CD's, 'cause whenever she listens to something, the Awakening music pops up. It came up on a Kelly Clarkson CD for Pete's sake!

"You're doing it wrong!" I growled. I kicked it and hit it with a hammer.

_Taking care of business,_

_And working overtime!_

"Yay! It works!" Katie and I yelled. Zoe sighed and looked at us.

"Did you get the shower head?" she asked.

"No, but I found Menchi-san! Squee!" I said while hloding up the emergency food ration. Zoe made an annoyed noise at us and walked up to the batroom.

"What's she gonna do?" Katie whispered. I shrugged and we followed her. Zoe pulled on the shwer head and pushed a button. It popped right off!

"Hey! How'd you do that?" I asked. Zoe shrugged and made her way towards Katie's bed. We followed and went under. Maybe now we can have a break...

* * *

It's not quite over yet! One more chapter! Will it be the end? Will it have an alternate ending? A sequel? An alternate ending with a sequel? An alternate ending with a sequel that rivals the comedy of Monty Python? 


	10. A whole new world We think

The final Chapter!

* * *

Zoe's POV: 

Finally it's over! Katie and Psycho rushed into the lab, holding all the things we needed. Psycho clung to Sledgehammer and had big anime tears while begging him not to leave. Katie was on his head crying and screaming 'Don't leave us Davy!' and stuff like that. I merely helped Dr. Finklestein set up the machine while watching Sledgehammer come after Psycho and Katie with his hammer. It was kinda funny, until he threw a table and hit them in the head.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt!" I said. Psycho and Katie had swirls for eyes and three inch lumps on their heads. Sledgehammer laughed maniaclly and began to chase them again. (sigh) I'll get the horse tranquilizers...

"It's ready!" Dr. Finklestein yelled. Sledgehammer dropped the two victims and ran over.

"You mean I finally get to leave this nightmare?" he asked with hope in his eyes. The doc nodded and motioned to the pod thingy.

"Now we just need some of your memory and the portal should open... Aha!" the Dr. cried happily. he pushed the button and a large swirling vortex of the time and space continuum opened. The maniac ran in and Katie curiously walked up to it.

"What happens when you poke... Aaaiiieeep!" Katie tripped over a shoe and went straight into the portal!

"Katie!" Psycho ran over to try and help her with me right behind, but she tripped too and they both went in!

"Guys!" I yelled. The portal closed as soon as I reached it. On the opposite side of the room, another portal opened and a girl with red hair in a school uniform flew out.

"Hm, that wasn't supposed to happen," said the doctor. I glared at him and overturned his chair.

"Wah!" she yelled before hitting the ground. I walked over and the portal closed up. I all of a sudden have the power to close portals. Worship me.

"Oh me head... Huh? This isn't my house!" she said. She looked at me and blinked.

"And I'm guessing you aren't one of the lodgers, are you?" I shook my head.

"Where am I?" she said in fear. I tilted my head to the side and asked the question everyone's been wantin' to know:

"Who are you?" She stood up and brushed off her knees.

"My name is Alyssa Hamilton."

THE END!

* * *

Okay folks! Now you have to keep your eyes peeled for the sequel! That's right, there's a sequel! And if Alyssa's in our world... then where are we? 


End file.
